Someone has been kind to you and you feel gratitude for the help they have
- Appreciating an altruistic gift.
- Feeling grateful.
- Rejoicing in what is.
Root: probably from Late Latin grātitūdō thankfulness, from Latin grātus, pleasing.
Close synonyms include: feeling thankful, grateful, appreciative, beholden,
and feeling indebted.
A gift is given graciously only when:
- The gift fills a need of the recipient,
- It is given voluntarily and unconditionally, without obligation or
- It is an act of kindness that goes beyond the duty or obligation of the
- It does not cause embarrassment or shame by
highlighting the need for help or limited competency of the receiver.
If the gift is given for personal gain, or with an expectation of
or future obligation, to feel self-important, or to alleviate guilt it is not a
gracious gift and the recipient may not feel gratitude. Dealing with the
relative stature of the giver and receiver can become
important in gift giving. If the giver uses the gift presentation as an
opportunity to highlight or imply his higher stature,
the receiver may feel patronized and embarrassed and become resentful. It can
become an uncomfortable form of dominance contest.
Origins and Value
Gratitude is the helpful side of reciprocity.
It reminds us to return a favor and to keep mutual exchange fair.
You can not feel grateful if the giver requires or expects you to feel
grateful. In this case the gift was not given unconditionally; it was given with
the expectation of receiving your gratitude in return. Being able to accept help
is an important learned social skill that depends on your ability to
being in need.
Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions,
by Richard S.
Lazarus, Bernice N. Lazarus
Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life, by Paul Ekman
The Cognitive Structure of Emotions, by Andrew Ortony, Gerald L. Clore, Allan Collins
Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama, by Daniel Goleman
Fear, Sadness, Anger, Joy, Surprise, Disgust, Contempt,
Anger, Envy, Jealousy, Fright, Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, Relief, Hope, Sadness, Depression, Happiness,
Pride, Love, Gratitude, Compassion, Aesthetic Experience,
Joy, Distress, Happy-for, Sorry-for, Resentment, Gloating, Pride, Shame, Admiration, Reproach,
Love, Hate, Hope, Fear, Satisfaction, Relief, Fears-confirmed, Disappointment, Gratification,
Gratitude, Anger, Remorse,
power, dominance, stature, relationships