This can get tricky! Here are some solutions that have worked for our members. Others are from the force field analysis. Perhaps you can adapt them for your own use, or suggest other solutions that are working for you.

Problem: I don’t know what the Golden Rule means. Interpretations of the Golden Rule are often ambiguous, unclear, or unkind.

Possible Solution: The Golden Rule means kindness and compassion.

Problem: This is corny, no one else does it. The present culture is an unsupportive context. We lack any community for supporting this level of compassion.  A fiercely competitive environment is normal, and we become complacent to cruelty. We don’t notice when the Golden Rule is broken because we are in a predatory environment so often we mistake it for normal.

Possible Solution: Get started; take the initiative yourself to live the Golden Rule. You now have within you the courage and leadership to do this. Begin the transformation very simply by declaring your own intent. Pledge to yourself to “treat others as they wish to be treated, to the best of my ability, every time, at every opportunity”. Then as you go about your life you will be gratified by following the Golden Rule, and you will also notice some times when you fail to follow the Golden Rule. Enjoy the kindness and compassion of following the rule and don't feel badly about yourself, blame yourself, or become discouraged by the inevitable lapses. Instead reflect on this and ask “why did this lapse occur?” You can keep a journal of each event. Record what happened, when, who, your immediate thoughts and actions, and your reflections on how you could have acted differently to have lived by the Golden Rule in this instance. Later you can review this journal and use it as an aid to your learning and growth. Together we can accumulate solutions and share them here if you choose.

Problem: I am special. I deserve special treatment and cannot be bothered squandering kindness on the masses. Ego involvement, selfishness, greed, impatience, overload, and choosing to use power-over make this difficult.

Possible Solution: We are all special. We are each endowed with an intrinsic and unalienable dignity. The Golden Rule requires that we treat everyone as our peer—our equal—in a symmetrical relationship. We act with the profound understanding that all men and women are created equal. This requires us to struggle to overcome the powerful asymmetries of our own first person viewpoint, exercise restraint, and remain humble. We treat ourselves and all others with respect, as we follow these guidelines for human interaction.  We increase our own emotional competency, we act authentically, and we commit ourselves to the four agreements. We speak with candor and we never lie, cheat, or steal. We earn the trust of others and never manipulate them. We converse using dialogue, not debate or dogma. We treat all others as they wish to be treated.

Problem: I am not going to be kind to a jerk. Some people are such jerks that I think I have to give them a dose of their own medicine to get through to them.

Possible Solution: Address them candidly by saying: “Your behavior makes it very difficult for me to treat you with compassion.“ Then go on to describe specifically what they do that you find annoying, unkind, or unfair. Listen carefully to their response while you suspend judgment and balance inquiry and advocacy. Then describe how you would like to be treated, and ask for their agreement.

Problem: I have to protect myself from my attackers. Fear is inevitable in a world filled with danger, scarcity, and pain.

Possible Solution: Be calm, curious, and courageous. Distinguish between fear and hate, real and imagined. (more to follow)

Problem: I’m not going to be kind to my enemies. It is difficult to feel compassion for your enemies. Enemies bring out our hatred, spite, and revenge.

Possible Solution: Abraham Lincoln once asked: “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?“ Work to resolve conflict while strengthening the relationship.

Problem: If I don’t oppose my rivals I will lose. It is simply unwise to assist your rivals and help out your opponents. The world is based on competition, and I plan to continue being a tough competitor. There are always zero-sum games and contention for scarce resources where I have to win.

Possible Solution: Reduce the number of zero-sum encounters. (more to follow)

Problem: Oppression crushes compassion.

Possible Solution: Reduce the opportunities for tyranny. Increase Human Rights protections. (more to follow)