This can get tricky! Here are some solutions that have worked for our members.
Others are from the force field analysis. Perhaps you can adapt them for your own use, or suggest other solutions that are
working for you.
Problem: I don’t know what the Golden Rule means. Interpretations of the Golden
Rule are often ambiguous, unclear, or unkind.
Possible Solution: The Golden Rule means kindness and compassion.
Problem: This is corny, no one else does it. The
present culture is an unsupportive context. We lack any
community for supporting this level of
compassion. A fiercely competitive environment is normal, and we
become complacent to cruelty. We don’t notice when the Golden Rule is
broken because we are in a predatory environment so often we mistake it
Possible Solution: Get started; take the initiative yourself to
live the Golden Rule. You now have within you the courage and leadership to do
this. Begin the transformation very simply by declaring your own intent. Pledge
to yourself to “treat others as they wish to be treated, to the best of my ability, every time, at every opportunity”. Then as
you go about your life you will be gratified
by following the Golden Rule, and you will also notice some times when you fail
to follow the Golden Rule. Enjoy the kindness and
compassion of following the rule and don't feel badly about yourself,
blame yourself, or become
discouraged by the inevitable lapses. Instead reflect on this and ask “why did
this lapse occur?” You can keep a journal of each event. Record what happened, when, who,
your immediate thoughts and actions, and your reflections on how you could have acted differently to have lived by the
Golden Rule in this instance. Later you can review this
journal and use it as an aid to your learning and growth. Together we can accumulate solutions
share them here if you choose.
Problem: I am special. I deserve special treatment and
cannot be bothered squandering kindness on the masses. Ego involvement, selfishness, greed, impatience, overload,
choosing to use power-over make this difficult.
Possible Solution: We are all special. We are each
endowed with an intrinsic and unalienable dignity. The Golden Rule requires
that we treat everyone as our peer—our equal—in a symmetrical
relationship. We act with the profound
understanding that all men and women are created equal. This requires us to struggle to
overcome the powerful asymmetries of our own first
person viewpoint, exercise
restraint, and remain
humble. We treat ourselves and all others with
respect, as we follow these
guidelines for human interaction. We
increase our own emotional
competency, we act authentically, and
we commit ourselves to
the four agreements. We
speak with candor and we never
lie, cheat, or steal. We earn the trust of
others and never manipulate them. We converse using dialogue,
not debate or dogma.
We treat all others as they wish to be treated.
Problem: I am not going to be kind to a
jerk. Some people are such jerks that I think I have to give them a dose of
their own medicine to get through to them.
Possible Solution: Address them candidly by saying:
“Your behavior makes it very difficult for me to treat you with
compassion.“ Then go on to describe specifically
what they do that you find annoying, unkind, or unfair. Listen carefully to
their response while you suspend judgment
and balance inquiry and advocacy. Then describe how you would
like to be treated, and ask for their agreement.
Problem: I have to protect myself from my attackers. Fear
is inevitable in a world filled with danger, scarcity, and
Possible Solution: Be calm, curious, and courageous.
Distinguish between fear and
hate, real and
imagined. (more to follow)
Problem: I’m not going to be kind to my enemies. It is
difficult to feel compassion for
your enemies. Enemies bring out our hatred, spite, and revenge.
Possible Solution: Abraham Lincoln once asked: “Am I not
destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?“ Work to
resolve conflict while strengthening the relationship.
Problem: If I don’t oppose my rivals I will lose.
It is simply unwise to assist your rivals and help out your opponents. The world
is based on competition, and I plan to continue being a tough competitor. There
are always zero-sum games and contention for scarce
resources where I have to win.
Possible Solution: Reduce the number of zero-sum encounters. (more to follow)
Problem: Oppression crushes compassion.
Possible Solution: Reduce the opportunities for
protections. (more to follow)